91 replies to this topic

[Boadacia]

.... Nyddwenyydd the Needle! I've read about your exploits and the horrific escapades of carnage you've caused in many places, and particularly the murder and arson at Tympath Crocheting College, where we found the impaled fried corpses of 17 students! "Yewl neva get me alive!" the old hag spat at him. She swung her needle heading for his throat and ..........

[Dragonmum]

....as if by magic, which, of course it was, she was transformed into a regal beauty and her needle changed it's shape to become the well-known weapon Excalibur.
"You are both right and wrong" she said in honeyed tones, " and if I could nick this from The Lady of the Lake when Arthur snuffed it, I'll have no problem with you. I am Morgana, beloved of all men but sworn to be their downfall"
By this time the Professor had swallowed the entire contents of his second package in self defence and the result was alarming.............

[Boadacia]

...... when he realised it had all been an hallucination, and everything was calm. Morgana had vanished (or never existed) and the bar was quiet, with the usual punters there on the dartboard, and dominoes table. The skittles were stood there undisturbed without any speeding witches bowling towards them, and there was no inspector to be seen. He decided to reprimand himself for his drug addiction and to make a real effort in future not to overdose. Somewhat relieved the horrors were over, he made his way back to his room where ...........

[acousticvillage]

..........he found, standing in the furthest corner, a wizened old lady holding an appointment card.

"is this the chiropodist's?" she asked.

[Dragonmum]

...."No" he replied with some asperity "But you'll be getting MY foot where the sun don't shine if you don't make yourself scarce pronto. I've had my fill of wizened old ladies for the foreseeable future. You have 2 seconds to........

[Buckfasterfullerine]

clear the vicinity.

Several weeks has passed since the fire which gutted the Kensington club, the re-development was swift and sure, in part, due to the large 'donation' which, it is rumoured, had been bequiethed by gentleman by the name of Rizla Condor, this rumour was bourne out when the name of the club, by a cunning stunt, was changed to 'The Kensitas Club'.

When the news reached the professor he was incandescent with rage, "I will be withdrawing my membership, forthwith" he spat at his weary butler.

The intent of the meeting with the shadowy figure, the night of the fire, was to try to elect a player from the world of celebrity, or any other notable figure, who could promote vaping to the masses, another venue had to be sought, and with haste, but where ?. . . . . . .

[Boadacia]

Someone suggested the Edinburgh Festival, and Franky Boyle for the representation. The professor thought ...........

[Dragonmum]

.......Nah! He's too near the knuckle for our refined clientele - maybe Old Trafford the home of promotion? As he was chewing this over he had a brilliant thought.......

[acousticvillage]

"Our own Football team!! All vapers, all fit, all lithe, with luscious thighs. Vaper Athletic!"

He filled up a Grizwald's Creamy Pistachio as his plan formed in his head..........

[Dragonmum]

....but he couldn't concentrate; it was the luscious, lithe thighs that did his head in and he must have had a keyboard problem - it kept coming up as "Laver Pathetic". Not really the image he wished to project - so, back to the drawing board, but by this time he'd become so anagram conscious that even the most innocent themes were making him sweat - and he still hadn't found an alternative venue. Then he jumped to his feet "Eureka" he cried - (he was a bit like that) - "I have thought of a really cunning stunt" and, calling his ever so, by now, weary butler he said "My coat and stick and hurry man, this will not wait - I am off to see the Landlord of that amiable hostelry " The Pheasant Pluckers". I have a plan that will interest him. Mr Bates is one always looking to turn an honest shilling, and if he's not there I'll talk to his son Master.........

[Buckfasterfullerine]

The meeting finaly convened, at the table were sat, Prof Easystreet in his capacity as president of the Scott Bonner fan club, Smokeydokie-general secretary, Rusty- head of CAMVIP, Fiona- ECCA forum rep, and head of corporate entertainment DJ EMtronea.
The subject of the meeting was to put forward suggestions for a 'Personage of notoriety', from public figures that could promote vaping.
Some suggestions were offered, some were good and reasonable, and some where not..............

Edited by Buckfasterfullerine, 18 February 2012 - 07:50 PM.

[Buckfasterfullerine]

Bill Bailey-entertainer, comedian, Klingon




George Galloway - a mad Scots guy





Frank Quitely - UKIP member




Avid Merion